Once a year.
That’s it.
Once a year.
That’s how often I truly feel relaxed, how often I get an escape from my anxiety, depression, how often all the stressed of life just fade away. Once a year, for a few hours. That’s it.
For the last few years, 5 or 6 I think, every August I have gone out to watch the Perseid meteor shower. Whether it’s been in a field with my dad in Germany, by a lake in Virginia or in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, I always try and make it at least once to see the meteor shower. I never really noticed the “freedom” I felt until I was laying on the ground this year, staring up at the sky watching these shooting stars streak across the sky, through the milky way, out of the corner of my eye, small ones, dim ones, long ones, bright ones, ones that make everyone around you gasp, point and say holy shit. I was laying there, on the ground by Echo Lake in jeans and a hoodie, on a clear, smokey 50 degree night while my Cameras clicked away, once every 25 seconds. I realized then how peaceful, relaxed and not anxious I felt.
I don’t know why, maybe because even with all the crazy shit happening in the world right now, this meteor shower was one of the only things that felt normal. The one thing that wasn’t postponed, cancelled or affected in any way whatsoever. It as normal. For a few hours one a Wednesday night, the world as I knew it felt normal again. Even with the smoke filled air from one of Colorado’s largest ever wildfires raging elsewhere off in the mountains, people gathered (safely) around the lake and enjoyed the one thing that COVID couldn’t stop.
Normally, if I want to be relaxed or escape my mind, I need a distraction, but not just one, I need multiple. At night if I want to fall asleep, I need noise, silence is my enemy. I need something to follow, a distraction. Even while I'm working I need something in the background, otherwise the work alone isn't enough to keep my mind distracted. The only other time I can get close to relaxation, a break from my anxiety, is when I am out with my camera. The meteor shower is the only time I can sit there, with no noise, no other distractions around me and truly feel free.
Once a year,
That’s it,
Sincerely,
An Introvert.
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